When I think of my life being married to a musician…the lyrics to this beautifully written song run through my head.
Highway run
Into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You're on my mind
Restless hearts
Sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love along the wire
They say that the road
Ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line it's been you and me
And loving a music man
Ain't always what it's supposed to be
Oh Girl
You stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully
Circus life
Under the big top world
We all need the clowns to make us smile
Through space and time
Always another show
Wondering where I am lost without you
And being apart ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh girl
You stand by me
I'm forever yours
Faithfully
I was raised in a family of musicians, my Grandparents had a band. The band consisted of a friend of the family, two of my uncles and my Grandma and Grandpa. I remember going to their shows on the weekends, they were pretty popular.
Never in my life did I think I would marry a long haired, metal drummer. NEVER. When Jimmy and I met I was still pretty hesitant. It was uncharted territory for me, BUT I fell in love with him and for being the crazy long haired rocker, he is a pretty mellow guy. Not a big partier, no tattoos…just some long hair and crazy skills on the drums!
Over the past 10 (almost 11) years we have been all over and he’s played everywhere. B.N. (Before Noah) it was for sure a lot easier for me to go to shows but after Noah we just had to adjust life. So I don’t go to as many shows, which is ok because I seriously think I have narcolepsy these days and I save my trips out to BIG shows. It gets really complicated after kids come into the picture.
Anyhow I digress. I have watched my husband, who is so amazingly talented, do many things. He has played dive bars, bigger bars, Festivals in Germany (which I got my honeymoon out of), Gigs all over the US, a couple of huge shows in Trinidad and even on a boat in the middle of the ocean (which I got a free vacation out of). He has recorded many, many albums over these years, he’s been sought out to record albums and fill in on shows. I’ve watched fans beg for sticks after shows, ask him to sign their cd’s, flyers, set lists…you name it. I’ve seen an old man come up to him, very emotional and tell him how much his drumming touched him. He has done amazing things! THAT is why I stand by him, that is why I am by his side in this adventure because to ask him to give it up would be like ripping the soul out of him. He lives and breathes MUSIC and I believe in him.
Unfortunately being extremely talented doesn’t guarantee anything with our crappy music industry. I see crappy bands and singers make it just because they are what’s “in” now and can make a quick buck with singles. But now with Sunflower Dead I see promise, they are on the map, getting huge gigs and doing their thing. I see a group of like minded, goal driven guys all set out on the same mission. To make it. That is why I stand by him. If in his 20+ years of drumming there was ever a prime opportunity…this is it. To quit now would throw all of that hard work away.
People wonder about me and probably think I’m insane with this lifestyle. My husband is gone a lot which leaves me with some considerable responsibility but I do believe that in order to achieve sometimes you have to make sacrifices. I know if the roles were changed he WOULD do that for me. You have to give it everything and in the end if it doesn’t work out then you can say you did everything you could. I’m not suffering at home while my husband lives it up on the road, I actually have it better. Most people think it’s one big glamorous, raging party with women, etc. Yeah it’s like 6 guys in a passenger van hauling a trailer, rushing from one show to the next. Sometimes sleeping in the van, eating PB&J’s and hustling. I know it’s not easy for him to be away from his wife and children but he’s giving this everything and I admire him for that.
When I was young, I wanted to be a fashion designer. I applied to FIDM and got accepted…then promptly found out I was pregnant with my oldest son. I never followed through with that dream and I regret it all the time. My life became a quest to survive, to care for my child and move up in the workplace. It was no longer a quest to do what I dreamed of doing but a quest to do what was necessary to survive. I truly admire my husbands drive and I wish I would have had the determination to continue on my path, but I was distracted.
So for now…I will live through him, support him and dream big just like him. If this goes nowhere, it was not for nothing, he has left a trail of amazingness that will be remembered for many, many years and will be a source of great pride for him children.
I love you baby! Good luck on the tour!
