So when I was little, my father remarried. This woman loved to comb my hair into tight ponytails, which I hated. She became the “Step-monster”. I hated going over there, she made me eat all my food….she made me stay clean…she made me comb my hair. Oh the torture.
So now I’ve become the “Step-monster” to my 14 year old stepson. I am so sorry for torturing my stepmother now and I’m so thankful for the lessons she taught me. I realize looking back, that she was trying really hard and nothing was to purposefully torture me, except maybe the over easy eggs with chili on them.
So how do you deal with a stepchild? It’s an artform, a delicate balancing act, that’s for sure. Do you treat them the same as your other children and probably set yourself up to be accused to being mean to them? Or do you treat them especially kind and risk having the next Bad Seed visiting your house on weekends? Well I’ll tell you after doing this for 7 years, I treat him exactly as I treat my other kids and if he thinks I’m being mean. So what. I had that experience this weekend.
I was raised in a Hispanic family, I am STILL afraid of my mother. I will not curse in front of her or disrespect her or my Grandmother. There is a moral code we were taught growing up and it’s that your parents made the decisions. You did what they told you to and you respected them. You said please, thank you and excuse me. These days all of these kids walk around with some sort of entitlement complex. They’re rude, obnoxious, vulgar and just downright lazy. WE owe them. Yeah, I don’t think so. I pay the bills, I keep the house up….your job is to go to school do good and obey MY rules.
I don’t have to lay a hand on my kids, just as my parents didn’t lay a hand on me. All it took was the stare of death from my mother and I stopped whatever it was that I was doing….I’ve perfected that stare for my own children.
We’re threatened with social services, kids are told they have rights. If abuse is going on then take the parents to jail, if a parent is just trying to keep their child in order….let them do their job. We’re losing our right to parent and I refuse to let that happen to me. My kids know better. My stepson is learning. Support from your spouse is vital. If they don’t back you up, you’re bound to lose. I still battle with this every weekend.
Keep your head up stepparents. I think in the end they will realize you were just trying to help them, I know I did.
UPDATE: I wanted to update this blog. In November of 2010 we lost my stepmother to thyroid cancer. She fought brave and hard. She gave us so much guidance and wisdom....she will be truly missed. We were all there with her and my father until the end and honestly, helping her was the least I could have done after all she had done for me. Miss you Mom!
So now I’ve become the “Step-monster” to my 14 year old stepson. I am so sorry for torturing my stepmother now and I’m so thankful for the lessons she taught me. I realize looking back, that she was trying really hard and nothing was to purposefully torture me, except maybe the over easy eggs with chili on them.
So how do you deal with a stepchild? It’s an artform, a delicate balancing act, that’s for sure. Do you treat them the same as your other children and probably set yourself up to be accused to being mean to them? Or do you treat them especially kind and risk having the next Bad Seed visiting your house on weekends? Well I’ll tell you after doing this for 7 years, I treat him exactly as I treat my other kids and if he thinks I’m being mean. So what. I had that experience this weekend.
I was raised in a Hispanic family, I am STILL afraid of my mother. I will not curse in front of her or disrespect her or my Grandmother. There is a moral code we were taught growing up and it’s that your parents made the decisions. You did what they told you to and you respected them. You said please, thank you and excuse me. These days all of these kids walk around with some sort of entitlement complex. They’re rude, obnoxious, vulgar and just downright lazy. WE owe them. Yeah, I don’t think so. I pay the bills, I keep the house up….your job is to go to school do good and obey MY rules.
I don’t have to lay a hand on my kids, just as my parents didn’t lay a hand on me. All it took was the stare of death from my mother and I stopped whatever it was that I was doing….I’ve perfected that stare for my own children.
We’re threatened with social services, kids are told they have rights. If abuse is going on then take the parents to jail, if a parent is just trying to keep their child in order….let them do their job. We’re losing our right to parent and I refuse to let that happen to me. My kids know better. My stepson is learning. Support from your spouse is vital. If they don’t back you up, you’re bound to lose. I still battle with this every weekend.
Keep your head up stepparents. I think in the end they will realize you were just trying to help them, I know I did.
UPDATE: I wanted to update this blog. In November of 2010 we lost my stepmother to thyroid cancer. She fought brave and hard. She gave us so much guidance and wisdom....she will be truly missed. We were all there with her and my father until the end and honestly, helping her was the least I could have done after all she had done for me. Miss you Mom!
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