I believe in LOVE!

The past few days haven't been the easiest at work and I'm making a conscious effort to focus on the positives in my life and set up strict boundaries for the negatives.

In my reflections on the many blessings in my life, there is one that I sometimes take for granted....and that would be my husband Jimmy.

Nine years ago I met the man of my dreams on a complete fluke and even after we met, for months we went back and fourth because I wasn't sure if I liked him or if he was my "type".  He was a long haired rocker from the OC and I was a Latina from Compton! 

We chatted for months, I thought he was a nice guy and thought that we would be good friends because I wasn't really looking for much at that point in my life.  He was persistent and when he finally gave up on me, I went back looking for him because I missed him.  

Weeks later, three months or so from our first meeting, we finally kissed and the rest as they say was history.

Three months from that kiss we moved in together. 

Three years after meeting we got married on October 1st, 2005. 

Five months after that we welcomed our son Noah Layne Schultz into the world.

(Here he is with big brothers Saxon and William)

It has been a whirlwind romance and I never imagined that my life would be as it is right now.  We have had our many struggles, we have been through hell and back together, but no matter what our love was always there. 

Our 1st Wedding Anniversary at Lawry's

There were times where I didn't want to talk.  I was angry, I asked for space, i complained...he complained, but we have never raised our voices at each other and had a really bad, screaming fight...which is think is impressive after all this time.

I've never used foul language towards him.  I think I've called him a jerk at most a time or two.  We still have a high level of respect for each other.  We still talk things out.

He is an amazing father, he loves his children, he loves spending time with them.  He would give anything for ONE more....but I'm having a hard time with that right now.   I have seen him at his best as a father.  Late nights up, cleaning up baby "fluids" when I was gagging and couldn't...we have been through some funny stuff.  I remember the night we were both so exhausted with Noah that i got up and ran into the door because I was walking with my eyes closed.

He loves me for me.  Plus or minus 20 pounds, makeup or no makeup, happy or grumpy (but especially happy!).  He always tells me loves me, that I'm beautiful and he's still as affectionate with me as he was the day of that first kiss.  He makes me feel beautiful, even when I don't feel good about myself.

We have experienced so many things together

Here we are at Versailles in France

at a little cafe in France after a visit to the Catacombs

at his show at the Headbangers Open Air Festival in Germany

We may not have a lot of money but his gift of music has been a gift to me as well.  We have been able to travel because of it.  He has provided me with luxuries that I never saw myself experiencing and I appreciate him for that.   I am also very proud of him as an artist, he is amazing to watch!

I wish everyone love.   It takes work, but the payoff is amazing.

BOOKS!! BOOKS!!! BOOKS!!

My brother and I were having a conversation about books and bookstores on Monday morning...or the lack of...

Thanks to my Grandfather, i was a very early reader and learned a great LOVE of books early on.   You could travel to distant places, learn new things or shiver in fear....all while sitting on your couch or while laying in bed.

This is how I feel when I'm into a good book

It's comforting, it's exciting, it's fun.

I'm an especially big fan of the actual "physical" book.  Not kindles, not ipod readers and not computer books.  

Actual tangible books.

Books that you can hold, touch and smell.  There is nothing like turning the page to get to the next exciting part of the book!

Unfortunately, due to the rapid advancement of technology, bookstores are quickly becoming extinct.  It's so sad to me.   But even worse is that even with the availability of books on electronic readers, kids/teens do not seem to be excited about reading.

This world is all about instant gratification.  Why read 300 pages when you can watch the movie or worse yet...play the video game! I don't think so!

I was a proud mommy the other day when we were in the mall walking by a soon to be closed Borders and Noah yelled out BOOKSTORE!!! and ran inside.  We read every night and I'm glad that he will grow up knowing the excitement of books. 

Try curling up with a good book sometime soon.   Reacquaint yourself with an old friend!  Buy a book or better yet...go to my favorite place...the LIBRARY! It's even free.

For now, i will continue to build my home library (much to my husbands dismay).  One day I will have a room just dedicated to my collection of books...and yes....I have read them all.

...some even two or three times!

The ART of Happiness!

In these days and times, i am convinced that HAPPINESS is an artform that is slowly being lost.  Are you a MASTER of this art?  Well, if you're not...you should be working on it!

Why do we take this life for granted?  Why do we make the choice to stress and worry about so many things that we cannot change, while not giving a thought to things that we CAN change?

Yes, bills have to be paid and chores have to be done, but if you don't dust your furniture today and choose to go spend a day in the park with your child...is that bad? 

What about a date night with your significant other?

A dinner with your parents?

It's not always about money either.   You can pack a picnic basket, you can cook at your house and ask someone to watch your kids. 

You can create a trade off with other parents so you can all have a night out!  

Are you familiar with the effects of stress on the body? 

It's just not worth it. 

Take care of your business.  Make yourself a priority!  Enjoy this life. 

We only have ONE.

My how times have changed!

Wow!  It's been a while!  

As usual, my life has been hectic but GOOD hectic.  Well sort of...there have been some bumps in the road, but overall, I am blessed. 

First of all we moved!!!  Yay!  That was a CRAZY and tough move.   You don't realize how much stuff you accumulate until you have to downsize!  Oh man it took 3 full days...working ALL day long.  I just wanted to sit and cry on the last day.  No wait.  I did sit and cry.   It was a cry of "please let me get this done" and "wow our home with so many memories is sitting empty".  All and all, it has been a great move.  I am blessed with a very helpful sister, niece, father and neighbor.  Noah adjusted perfectly, he started Kindergarten last week and seems to love it.    We are all able to lean on each other when needed and it really is fun to not be so alone all the time.  Not to mention we have more money for things that we need.   I've been able to get dental work that I've needed for a few years, speaking of which, part 2 is today! YIKES!

I finally was able to get the guts to have my annual physical in July.   Everything was pretty much the same, same meds, nothing new.   I hadn't scheduled my mammogram follow up so Dr. Miller made sure that I did!  Headed down to Hoag Hospital last thursday and was informed that I was going to do the whole "annual" shabang!  So off I went to get topless and put on my plush spa robe. 

It was the usual for me, mammogram followed by an ultrasound.  Until the tech kept looking and looking....and looking.   She said some of the measurements seemed a little off so she took some extra images and off she went to show the Radiologist.   Dr. Levin came in a short time later (seemed like forever) and said that my lump had grown a bit so instead of continuing the every 6 month mammograms, they were going to do a biopsy to just get it taken care of once and for all.   My heart seemed to leap out of my chest when he said that.   I didn't expect it and it seemed like something was REALLY wrong!  Luckily my wonderful husband was in the waiting room and I was able to go out and cry to him. 

I thought they were going to have to schedule me for the biopsy but I was informed that they could "fit me in" that same day.  Not sure that I was prepared for it.  BUT, I wanted to just get it over with at that point.   My life was literally flashing before my eyes as I imagined worst case scenario.   Then they called my name....a wonderful older woman walked me in.   She could see that I was shaken and she held my hand and spoke to me gently.  I do believe that she was an angel sent from God.   She took me to the biopsy room and I I was introduced to the tech that was going to assist Dr. Levin.   She was HILARIOUS!  She reminded me of Jane Lynch in both looks and personality.  We were laughing like we'd known each other forever.  

The doctor came in they prepped me, took the biopsy (weird) and I watch the whole thing unfold on the ultrasound screen! 

After they wrapped me like a mummy which made me look like I had an A cup with two boobs at my shoulders!  It was so tight!  I had to wear this until friday night.  But Friday morning I decided it was way too much and switched to a sports bra.  I was pretty sore and it bruised pretty good.

So I'm sitting at my desk friday morning, I see an unfamiliar 949 number on my phone....so I answer.  My heart is racing because I'm thinking is it Hoag?!  I pick up and sure enough, it's Sandra from Hoag.  She said she wanted to follow up with me.   She asks me how I'm doing, if I'm bleeding or in pain, etc, etc.   She then pauses and says, "well we received your test results back and......".  My heart is RACING "the test was benign".  I immediately began crying.   She said it was the best call she had to make, i thanked her profusely and proceeded to call and text my family.   God is good and I am so thankful that I was blessed with good results.

NEVER take your health for granted

NEVER use fear as an excuse to not get check ups

NEVER ignore symptoms because you don't want to "deal"

If you catch things early you have a CHANCE

There is HOPE

GIVE YOURSELF A FIGHTING CHANCE!!!!

God bless you all.

Boob Squishing and Stethoscopes

Really...it's been 6 months since my last mammogram???  I can't believe the time has flown by and now I'm due for yet another booby squishing appointment.  

It's also time for my wonderful annual physical.  Last time I waited five years between physicals and walked out of that office with three medications!   I went from being semi-insurable to totally un-insurable!  Woo hoo.  I guess now I'm just like most of the United States.  

I know my 6 month mammogram is a REALLY good thing if all is clear.  They're re-checking some new lumps that I had to get checked out in December.  They were initially found in June of last year, but the new process is checking them every 6 months and if they show no change, they're not harmful.  So at 6 months there was no change and I'm hoping at 12 months it will be the same.  

As for the annual physical....it's a unfortunate necessity.   I am just hoping and praying that everything has remained the same.   It was enough last year to find out I had PCOS...another wonderful surprise.   I was wondering why it was so hard for me to lose weight and so easy for me to sprout a potential ZZ Top worthy batch of facial hair!

I will keep everyone posted.  Remember your yearly check ups are very important!!!!  It's not the most fun thing to do but it's better to find things out sooner rather than later!

Exciting!

Well we're making the big move.  Today I gave our 30 day notice, I scheduled my service shut offs and even bought some spackle!

I'm excited to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  We have been struggling so much the past few years that it has worn us down.  We're not extravagant folks, but when you can't leave to do ANYTHING because of the budget crunch...you will feel like a prisoner in your own home.

I'm looking forward to paying off some major bills.  That will be nice.

I'm looking forward to doing some fun things with the family.

The hubby will be playing a show at Fantasy Springs in July...which is always nice because we get the free room and some food!  Neither of us are big gamblers, but you can bet I'll be using that pool!  

We're missing our Disneyland passes and hoping that eventually we can afford to get them back! I'm sure Noah feels the same way.

We were even discussing a long needed family trip to see the Grand Canyon.  Hubby has never been there and it's been years for me.  I think it might be fun for the kids.   

Overall, there is hope.  I'm happy, I'm relieved.  I'm excited to be closer to my family.  

Life is good.

Big changes!

So the hubby and I are considering a HUGE move for us.  

We are going to bid Adieu to the OC!

This county is far to expensive to live in when you're on a tight budget. We're far away from family and lot's of family. It's hard to be happy when you can't afford to do anything and worry about even the simplist of things like gas and food.

We're hoping that this will cut our stress and allow us to actually save

for an emergency anything.  It's scary not having an umbrella to depend on.

So we're going to start putting the machine in motion.  It's double the distance for me, but I guess it's worth it in the end.

Wish us luck!

How much can one person take?

Dare I ask that question?

I know I'm not the only one who thinks this is a semi-regular basis, right?  Most days are good days, for the most part...especially after 5.  But when the misery follows me home, I'm ready to crack or run away and hide!

If you don't know me, I am a wife, mother, office manager and many other titles that I could throw in here...including chef, organizer, laundry girl, housekeeper, etc.  My ideal vision of my life is being a stay at home mom, working with my son, growing my own vegetables, cleaning house, baking and cooking.  Perfect!

Instead I work in the craziest office on the planet, with the most special people ever.   My day is literally me being BOMBARDED with emails and calls wanting me to drop everything I'm doing to help someone....like NOW.  I actually don't mind the majority of what I do, I am naturally drawn to helping people.  I enjoy it very much.  BUT (and I mean BUT) there are the people that call in to tell you exactly what YOU should be jumping through hoops to do for THEM, no questions asked.  Unfortunately there are lots of these folks.  They are rude, they are mean and most of all they are persistent.  These are the people that make my job not so fun. Add into this equation and total lack of organization mixed with a bit of A.D.D. and what I like to call "selective forgetfulness".  Oh wait!  I forgot the extra serving of Delusions of Grandeur....it would make a sane person sit in the corner and rock back and fourth.

Today as you can probably tell has been an incredibly difficult day.  Work was busy only to be followed by a financial "surprise" when I got home.  I had a good cry, found a solution and moved on.  I guess that's all I can do because I certainly do not need "Wonky Face" (aka Bell's Palsy) coming back anytime soon.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day...after all it is FRIDAY!!!  Woot Woot!

Children

I think one of the hardest parts of being a mom is letting your children go.   It's just a part of life, but a very difficult one.  

When they're babies, they're so dependent on you.  Without you they can't survive.  Slowly they grow, they begin feeding themselves, walking and finally running.

Soon it's the first day at daycare or at school.  You wave goodbye as they walk away or your heart breaks as they cry for you.  

Before you know it they have their own circle of friends, they have their own style....they want to start using the computer or want a cell phone.  You get the point. 

People often open their eyes WIDE when they realize that I have a 20 year old and a 5 year old.  They gasp and tell me "oh my, you started over!".   Truth is, the baby days are easy.  Toddlerhood is easy.  Even at the preteen stage, they're easy.  

It's when you have NO control anymore that it becomes most difficult.   You have to watch your children move on and witness the successes and failures of their lives.   You hope and pray (lots) that what you taught them growing up will help them make the right decisions, but you just never know.   

My baby boy is easy.  My big baby boy, not so much.  

I've heard the expression that when you have a child it's like your heart is walking around outside of your body.   

That about sums it up

What I wish I was doing today

Maybe this

Or this

even better..

this

As I get older I'm realizing that

making it to the top

making the most money

having the "title"

driving the nicest car

having the biggest house

having the best things...

are the LEAST important things in this life

Our time is limited here and we are not

guaranteed tomorrow.

We need to really savor today and those that we love

What if you didn't have tomorrow?

Makes that work deadline not seem like the MOST important thing, right?

I will be going home and hugging my family.

It's been a while

Wow, I didn't realize that I had been away for so long!

A lot has happened in the past few years culminating with me letting stress get to me to the point where it physically appeared.  I got Bell's Palsy.

One day after a particularly stressful few weeks, I came down with an excruciating headache.  It was pretty bad and I noticed that the right side of my face was tingly.  It was as if someone had rubbed vicks on my face (even my eye sort of burned).   I came home did the usual and sat on the couch with the husband but I was not feeling good.  I eventually just told him that I was going to bed and I would see him in the morning.  

I woke up the next morning and started to get ready for a big meeting that I had for work.   Something didn't feel right though, my right eye felt as if I slept with my hand or arm pressing on it and when I tried to close it, it felt weak.  My mouth felt weird too but I couldn't put my finger on it.  I got into the shower, got dressed and jumped into my car.

When i got to the meeting, I pulled my lipstick out and low and behold I could NOT rub my lips together!  It threw me into total panic when I realized that something was really wrong.   Being the trouper that I am....I actually went into the meeting and expressed my concern to a co-worker.  She could see the paralysis too.

I finished the meeting and went to my doctors office.   I will admit I am a bit of a hypochondriac and I'm so scared of the "medical unknown".  After a series of tests they said that I had BP and gave me an RX for prednisone and acyclovir.  I began taking it and man...I will say those were the worst few weeks of my life.

I was blessed, I got better after about 2 1/2 weeks (some people take 3 months or more).  But the experience made me realize how blessed we are to have a functioning body.  I am aging and i feel it on days when I've done too much and I'm sore...or when I wear heels and have to take them off because my feet hurt.   This is NOTHING like that.   Drooling, can't eat, biting your toungue, biting the side of your mouth, can't close your eye....pain!  Not fun stuff.  Not to mention after I finally finished the prednisone,  I broke out like a teenager for WEEKS.

Anyhow.  It's more common than you think and a lot of times it's caused my stress.  The moral of the story....LIFE IS TOO SHORT. This was a tough lesson to learn and I'm still trying every day to stop being such a spazz.  I'm trying to find a job that I love, something that I eagerly get out of bed for every morning.  I'm enjoying gardening, we're growing carrots, potatoes, tomatoes and parsley.   I'm laughing more, loving more...working on my relationship with my husband.

Eventually I just want to live on a farm....I'm getting there....slowly.

KEEPING IT SEXY

Does it feel like you and your husband have NO time for each other?

I know my husband and I suffer from this. We went from being all over each other to being too tired to even attempt any affection at night. Man it sucks. After we had our little one, he started sleeping with us and he wasn't a good sleeper so we are constantly exhausted.

Add work into that, band practice...other kids...It's not looking too good and neither am I these days. I am so haggard looking cause I'm just always so darn tired. Then my husband is a bit of a night owl and i get up way earlier so we're not on the same schedule at all.

I'm going to start with getting my little on into his own bed....does anyone else have any suggestions????

Quick, easy and cheap snacks for the family

ok, i love to cook but I typically don't have the time or the energy. HOWEVER...lately due to our wonderful economy I've had to make so sacrifices and give up on the take out and prepacked desserts.

One of the things that's fairly easy to make and the family loves it is deep dish brownies. Here is the recipe:

Preheat oven to 350
grease an 8" pan (I use Pam for baking)

get your ingredients together

3/4 c (1 1/2 sticks of butter)
1 1/2 c sugar (I use sugar in the raw)
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
3 eggs
3/4 c. flour (i use unbleached all purpose)
1/2 c. herseys cocoa
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt

ok so here it goes:

combine butter, sugar and vanilla, beat well then add the 3 eggs. Beat that altogether well.

in another bowl combine flour, cocoa, baking power and salt - i use a fork to mix it all together. Now you're going to gradually put the flour mixture into the egg mixture. I add a little then mix well then a little more and mix well...you get the point.

Beat it all until it's well blended. Spread it into the pan and bake for 40-45 minutes. Let cool and enjoy. These brownies are awesome!

How to make some time for yourself...

Ah, the biggest mystery for moms…how do I make time for ME?

After much stress, many tears, lot’s of venting…I think I’ve found a few tips and tricks to get some “me time” in during a normal day. Let me outline a typical day of mine:

6:30am up, shower, get dressed – get Kids stuff ready for the day
7:30am Leave for work
8:00 am to 5:00pm work a full day in a busy office while fielding calls from hubby regarding everything and anything
5:45 pm pick up baby from daycare
6:00 pm arrive home – get dinner going, get baby situated with snacks, etc.
7:00 pm dinner ready – wait for hubby to get home – feed the other kids
7:45 pm bath time

The rest of my night until about 12 is spent cleaning, looking over mail, paying bills, discussing things, putting the baby to bed, etc. This goes on Monday through Friday. Friday nights, the stepson comes over and now I have 3 boys in my house. Dirty, messy, noisy boys. My husband works Saturdays so I’m home alone with them until about 6pm. Oh and I didn’t mention my husband is also in a band so he’s gone a few nights a week. Needless to say, “me time” is a rarity!
So lately, I’ve been taking breaks at work and actually leaving for lunch. There is a park down the street and I head over there with a book and lay there and read. I’ve found that most libraries have “buy” racks where you can get some awesome books for about 10 cents…that’s right folks TEN CENTS! You can also just check out a book for free.

Other than that, I try to make sure my little one is in bed at a decent time get my stuff done as quickly as possible and one day a week I don’t do “anything” at night aside from making dinner. Put the baby to bed and voila, you have some time. Although I have to say, I just pass out most of the time on these days.

Otherwise, I find little ways to get some entertainment in.

-Facebook is one, gives me a chance to catch up with people fairly quickly.
-Getting into the longest line at the checkout stand – pick up a magazine and read – and it’s free! -Take a walk to drop off mail if you have a mailbox close by. Gets you some fresh air.
-Take your kids to the park – take a book with you and read while they play
-Give your toddler a bath – sit in there and read a book or write, or whatever you like to do

while they play
-Use your lunch if you work!
-Set up a regular coffee date with a friend, have your husband watch the kids for an hour or so
-Set up a little tv in your kitchen or a radio or something and entertain yourself while you cook

Those are some little tips. I try to find my sanity in these things! Good luck to you!

THE STEP-MONSTER

So when I was little, my father remarried. This woman loved to comb my hair into tight ponytails, which I hated. She became the “Step-monster”. I hated going over there, she made me eat all my food….she made me stay clean…she made me comb my hair. Oh the torture.

So now I’ve become the “Step-monster” to my 14 year old stepson. I am so sorry for torturing my stepmother now and I’m so thankful for the lessons she taught me. I realize looking back, that she was trying really hard and nothing was to purposefully torture me, except maybe the over easy eggs with chili on them.

So how do you deal with a stepchild? It’s an artform, a delicate balancing act, that’s for sure. Do you treat them the same as your other children and probably set yourself up to be accused to being mean to them? Or do you treat them especially kind and risk having the next Bad Seed visiting your house on weekends? Well I’ll tell you after doing this for 7 years, I treat him exactly as I treat my other kids and if he thinks I’m being mean. So what. I had that experience this weekend.

I was raised in a Hispanic family, I am STILL afraid of my mother. I will not curse in front of her or disrespect her or my Grandmother. There is a moral code we were taught growing up and it’s that your parents made the decisions. You did what they told you to and you respected them. You said please, thank you and excuse me. These days all of these kids walk around with some sort of entitlement complex. They’re rude, obnoxious, vulgar and just downright lazy. WE owe them. Yeah, I don’t think so. I pay the bills, I keep the house up….your job is to go to school do good and obey MY rules.

I don’t have to lay a hand on my kids, just as my parents didn’t lay a hand on me. All it took was the stare of death from my mother and I stopped whatever it was that I was doing….I’ve perfected that stare for my own children.

We’re threatened with social services, kids are told they have rights. If abuse is going on then take the parents to jail, if a parent is just trying to keep their child in order….let them do their job. We’re losing our right to parent and I refuse to let that happen to me. My kids know better. My stepson is learning. Support from your spouse is vital. If they don’t back you up, you’re bound to lose. I still battle with this every weekend.

Keep your head up stepparents. I think in the end they will realize you were just trying to help them, I know I did.

UPDATE:  I wanted to update this blog.   In November of 2010 we lost my stepmother to thyroid cancer.  She fought brave and hard.  She gave us so much guidance and wisdom....she will be truly missed.   We were all there with her and my father until the end and honestly, helping her was the least I could have done after all she had done for me.  Miss you Mom!

How do I juggle this?

I guess i should start from the beginning here. I was a young mom, had my first at 17....bad choices...but it enabled me to get moving again and into the thick of things while still relatively young. My kid was my little buddy and we had a great time. Fast forward 11 years....I'm 28 single, successful and very independent. On a dare my friend Janet decides to set me up on an online dating site. I refused to pay and it was free so what the hell, i told her to go for it.

My friend Hot Pants and I kept checking at work and before I knew it I had an email from a guy named Jimmy. He's a white rocker (drummer) from Orange County. I'm a latin girl from Compton. We started talking and decided to meet up one day
in Irvine. I decided to take two of my sisters with me "just in case" he turned out to be a psycho or something.

Long story short, we met, we talked and hung out (no kissing) for about 3 months. We had our first kiss, started dating, moved in 3 months later and got married 3 years later. In 2006 we had a little boy Noah. So I went from being single with a preteen to a mom of 3 boys, since I have a stepson now. My life change drastically in 7 years.

My career has changed, my lifestyle has changed. I am the master of all things household now. I can cook a mean dinner and get clothes really clean. Seriously....i ate out almost everyday before and partied up a storm. I don't think I can even dance anymore unless it's to a Backyardigans song on Noggin.

I'll be posting my experiences here, things I've learned. Experiences I've learned from and I've had a lot of experiences. From a mother in law who hated me to a new boss with ADD. I'm sure you'll get your kicks and maybe learn a little something. I want to help women understand that you can do it all and still look fab-u-lous!!!!

So kick off your Manolos, pour yourself a cosmo and get ready to read.......cheers!