The Musicians Wife

Yep...that would be me!!!

When I met Jimmy, I knew he was a musician.  I didn't know exactly what that meant since I had never dated one before, nor had I ever dated a white, long haired rocker.  Boy did I have a wake up call coming! 

Before I continue, let me introduce you...this is Jimmy.



He is talented as hell, and in about a BAGILLION (no exaggeration) bands.  This was simple and easy before we were married, before our baby boy came along (note we both had kids coming into this but they were older).  We had our son 4 years after dating, once that happened, it was a whole new world.   Long gone were the nights out "hanging" with the band, the drinking, the spontaneous movies or trips....even dining out was a different experience.

I AM happy, let me say that right out front.  It's not at all easy and I do believe that it takes a special woman to deal with this type of lifestyle.  If you're jealous, insecure or clingy...this is NOT for you.  In the words of Iron Maiden RUN TO THE HILLS!  Find yourself a nice banker or accountant and call it a day.  For me, I had already been a pretty independent, single mother so it wasn't a big stretch for me but it did take some adjustments after our baby was born. 

I guess you can take this blog as a bit of an information session.  If you're dating a musician or thinking of dating one make sure you understand what it will take;

*Musicians are on the road - you cannot be a stage five clinger!
*Musicians have "fans", a lot of these are female.   You have to trust your man or YOU will go crazy.
*You have to have your own life, hobbies, interests & friends
*You have to know how to handle things at home (top to bottom)
*You cannot be everywhere all the time with them
*Most of all, you have to be patient.....VERY patient.

There is a lot more to it, but those are some good starting basics.   Don't get me wrong, it can be pretty cool. I've seen parts of the world that I never thought I would see, I've met cool people and seen some awesome shows!  It has it upsides for sure.  BUT it can be lonely.  My husband is gone sometimes 4 to 5 days  a week with practices and shows.  Sometimes he's gone for days at out of state (or country) shows.

I have always said that he is one of the most talented people I know.  I know that he should be a rockstar in his own right, but the music industry is not easy.   Sometimes it's not about what you can do but who you know...which is very unfortunate for the really talented people out there.  

Lately, Jimmy has gotten some of the validation that I knew he deserved all along.  I am hoping and praying that something big happens for him.   I know that will mean less of him for me, but I love him and there is nothing like seeing someone do what is their true passion in life.

I love you baby, good luck!!!


ps: if you want to check out some awesome bands click on these links


www.cerebellion1.com


www.myspace.com/soulbleedarmy

http://www.youtube.com/user/RandyWeitzel


http://www.facebook.com/mrcrowleyozzytribute
 

Pondering Life

So this week we learned of the early and unfortunate passing of Steve Jobs.  I will admit I do not own any Apple products but I did work on a Mac years ago.

However, years ago I read at article about Mr. Jobs.  It included pictures of his home.

It was pretty much empty.

That image stuck in my head over the years.   This man is worth BILLIONS of dollars, yet you wouldn't know it looking at him.  Steve in his mock turtleneck, jeans and tennis shoes.  There was nothing pretentious about him, he didn't use his money to order people around.  He didn't buy and flaunt ridiculous things...and if he did, we never heard about it.

What we did hear about was his drive, his genius, his vision.  He was a perfectionist to the highest degree and he expected no less from those that worked for him.  He was a true example of loving what you do.  The proof?  He was GREAT at it and out of it he created an empire.  Not bad for an adopted child and college drop out.

Passion is key.  If you don't have passion or love for what you're doing, you'll never be successful.  I truly believe that.   Sometimes that takes big risks and I will admit I am scared of taking risks....hence I work for someone else.

I am a perpetual student, I love the feel of going to class.  I can feel the information absorbing into my brain.  Will I ever graduate?  I will say yes, but it may take me some time.  I truly, honestly am deterred by all of the seemingly unnecessary classes that I have to get through before I can get to what I truly love and want to learn.

I will hope that my children will follow their dreams.  I know my husband and I have offered them any help that they need.  I have told my oldest to take risks, to travel, to do what he loves.  It's something I haven't been able to truly experience yet, but I know when I do I will KICK SOME SERIOUS A@!

Steve thank you for the mark you made on this world.  Your example has inspired many.  Your story is proof that even with the most chaotic beginnings, you can be successful.  Hey, I can vouch for that.  I was a 16 year old, single, teen mother.  I chose a very hard road.  BUT I fought, I struggled, I pushed ahead.   I refused to be a statistic.  I refused to sit back and give up.

We should all live life not with the goal of material items.  We should strive to create a legacy.

What is your legacy?

Some of my rules to live by! 

Life life to the fullest

Love with everything you have inside

Don't settle

Don't let people take advantage of you

Speak out for things that are wrong

Take Risks

Find something to be passionate about and do it

Remember that material possessions cannot buy you love or friends

Pay it forward when you can

Be kind to elders (I truly believe this)

Volunteer 

Be patient

Don't rush through life...it will be over soon enough. 

Teach your children respect

Don't litter!  (ha ha, had to throw that one in)

Take care of your body

Have respect for yourself

God Bless! 

Wow! I don't know where the time has gone.   It seems like it wasn't too long ago that Jimmy and I got married. Yesterday was our 6 year anniversary and in true "Schultz" tradition it was a crazy one!

Let me explain.  The day before our wedding Jimmy got sick.  Not just sniffle sick but full blown, strep throat sick!  He made it through the night fine, thanks to alcohol, but after the wedding he was terrible.  Sick, fever, nasty tonsils with white spots.  

Every year since weird stuff has happened around this time, but in the end it has always worked out.  I can say yesterday was no exception.   It began friday, we had a rough start to the day and bickered a bit.   In the evening we noticed that Noah's toe was not doing very well, we're still not 100% on what is going on with it but our Anniversary (saturday) was spent at urgent care with him.   Three hours and two antibiotics later, we were home.  We had to do some foot soaking and medicating with him and then rush to get dressed to try to get out of here on time. 

I let go of my usual inner control freak and let my husband do all of the planning, which was really nice.   My amazing Sister volunteered to do my hair and she did a GREAT job.  We got Noah over to Grandmas house and got to our first stop...Maggiano's Little Italy by South Coast Plaza.  AMAZING! AFFORDABLE! DELICIOUS! Check it out and visit one day if you can... http://www.maggianos.com/en/Pages/home.aspx

Let me explain this restaurant...the restaurant itself is gorgeous.  Very upscale and downright beautiful when you walk in.  The staff are all very polite and very helpful and it smells delicious in there.   We were seated, we ordered the stuffed mushroom appetizer and then decided on the meal for two.  

GREAT bargain for $39.90, you get: 

2 entree salads (or an appetizer)

2 classic pastas (we chose aglio pasta and ravioli)

1 dessert

and...the Piece de resistance...

you choose 2 of the classic pasta dishes to take home.  So we went home with a lasagna and fettucine entree.

I would recommend it to anyone.  

Anyhow, my hubby took me to see the movie I have been dying to see Contagion.  So we ventured over there, it was a good movie but I will say the ending was a bit weird.   Would I watch it again?...probably not.  Am I glad I watched it? yes.  My heart belongs to the movie Outbreak, I think that is one of the best pandemic based movies out there.

Our night was short but full of love.  I think when you become parents, your priorities change.  We were (and still are) worried about our little guys foot.   We hope and pray that it clears up within 10 days.  

Cheers to the adventure that is our life honey!!!  I love you even more today!

I believe in LOVE!

The past few days haven't been the easiest at work and I'm making a conscious effort to focus on the positives in my life and set up strict boundaries for the negatives.

In my reflections on the many blessings in my life, there is one that I sometimes take for granted....and that would be my husband Jimmy.

Nine years ago I met the man of my dreams on a complete fluke and even after we met, for months we went back and fourth because I wasn't sure if I liked him or if he was my "type".  He was a long haired rocker from the OC and I was a Latina from Compton! 

We chatted for months, I thought he was a nice guy and thought that we would be good friends because I wasn't really looking for much at that point in my life.  He was persistent and when he finally gave up on me, I went back looking for him because I missed him.  

Weeks later, three months or so from our first meeting, we finally kissed and the rest as they say was history.

Three months from that kiss we moved in together. 

Three years after meeting we got married on October 1st, 2005. 

Five months after that we welcomed our son Noah Layne Schultz into the world.

(Here he is with big brothers Saxon and William)

It has been a whirlwind romance and I never imagined that my life would be as it is right now.  We have had our many struggles, we have been through hell and back together, but no matter what our love was always there. 

Our 1st Wedding Anniversary at Lawry's

There were times where I didn't want to talk.  I was angry, I asked for space, i complained...he complained, but we have never raised our voices at each other and had a really bad, screaming fight...which is think is impressive after all this time.

I've never used foul language towards him.  I think I've called him a jerk at most a time or two.  We still have a high level of respect for each other.  We still talk things out.

He is an amazing father, he loves his children, he loves spending time with them.  He would give anything for ONE more....but I'm having a hard time with that right now.   I have seen him at his best as a father.  Late nights up, cleaning up baby "fluids" when I was gagging and couldn't...we have been through some funny stuff.  I remember the night we were both so exhausted with Noah that i got up and ran into the door because I was walking with my eyes closed.

He loves me for me.  Plus or minus 20 pounds, makeup or no makeup, happy or grumpy (but especially happy!).  He always tells me loves me, that I'm beautiful and he's still as affectionate with me as he was the day of that first kiss.  He makes me feel beautiful, even when I don't feel good about myself.

We have experienced so many things together

Here we are at Versailles in France

at a little cafe in France after a visit to the Catacombs

at his show at the Headbangers Open Air Festival in Germany

We may not have a lot of money but his gift of music has been a gift to me as well.  We have been able to travel because of it.  He has provided me with luxuries that I never saw myself experiencing and I appreciate him for that.   I am also very proud of him as an artist, he is amazing to watch!

I wish everyone love.   It takes work, but the payoff is amazing.

BOOKS!! BOOKS!!! BOOKS!!

My brother and I were having a conversation about books and bookstores on Monday morning...or the lack of...

Thanks to my Grandfather, i was a very early reader and learned a great LOVE of books early on.   You could travel to distant places, learn new things or shiver in fear....all while sitting on your couch or while laying in bed.

This is how I feel when I'm into a good book

It's comforting, it's exciting, it's fun.

I'm an especially big fan of the actual "physical" book.  Not kindles, not ipod readers and not computer books.  

Actual tangible books.

Books that you can hold, touch and smell.  There is nothing like turning the page to get to the next exciting part of the book!

Unfortunately, due to the rapid advancement of technology, bookstores are quickly becoming extinct.  It's so sad to me.   But even worse is that even with the availability of books on electronic readers, kids/teens do not seem to be excited about reading.

This world is all about instant gratification.  Why read 300 pages when you can watch the movie or worse yet...play the video game! I don't think so!

I was a proud mommy the other day when we were in the mall walking by a soon to be closed Borders and Noah yelled out BOOKSTORE!!! and ran inside.  We read every night and I'm glad that he will grow up knowing the excitement of books. 

Try curling up with a good book sometime soon.   Reacquaint yourself with an old friend!  Buy a book or better yet...go to my favorite place...the LIBRARY! It's even free.

For now, i will continue to build my home library (much to my husbands dismay).  One day I will have a room just dedicated to my collection of books...and yes....I have read them all.

...some even two or three times!

The ART of Happiness!

In these days and times, i am convinced that HAPPINESS is an artform that is slowly being lost.  Are you a MASTER of this art?  Well, if you're not...you should be working on it!

Why do we take this life for granted?  Why do we make the choice to stress and worry about so many things that we cannot change, while not giving a thought to things that we CAN change?

Yes, bills have to be paid and chores have to be done, but if you don't dust your furniture today and choose to go spend a day in the park with your child...is that bad? 

What about a date night with your significant other?

A dinner with your parents?

It's not always about money either.   You can pack a picnic basket, you can cook at your house and ask someone to watch your kids. 

You can create a trade off with other parents so you can all have a night out!  

Are you familiar with the effects of stress on the body? 

It's just not worth it. 

Take care of your business.  Make yourself a priority!  Enjoy this life. 

We only have ONE.

My how times have changed!

Wow!  It's been a while!  

As usual, my life has been hectic but GOOD hectic.  Well sort of...there have been some bumps in the road, but overall, I am blessed. 

First of all we moved!!!  Yay!  That was a CRAZY and tough move.   You don't realize how much stuff you accumulate until you have to downsize!  Oh man it took 3 full days...working ALL day long.  I just wanted to sit and cry on the last day.  No wait.  I did sit and cry.   It was a cry of "please let me get this done" and "wow our home with so many memories is sitting empty".  All and all, it has been a great move.  I am blessed with a very helpful sister, niece, father and neighbor.  Noah adjusted perfectly, he started Kindergarten last week and seems to love it.    We are all able to lean on each other when needed and it really is fun to not be so alone all the time.  Not to mention we have more money for things that we need.   I've been able to get dental work that I've needed for a few years, speaking of which, part 2 is today! YIKES!

I finally was able to get the guts to have my annual physical in July.   Everything was pretty much the same, same meds, nothing new.   I hadn't scheduled my mammogram follow up so Dr. Miller made sure that I did!  Headed down to Hoag Hospital last thursday and was informed that I was going to do the whole "annual" shabang!  So off I went to get topless and put on my plush spa robe. 

It was the usual for me, mammogram followed by an ultrasound.  Until the tech kept looking and looking....and looking.   She said some of the measurements seemed a little off so she took some extra images and off she went to show the Radiologist.   Dr. Levin came in a short time later (seemed like forever) and said that my lump had grown a bit so instead of continuing the every 6 month mammograms, they were going to do a biopsy to just get it taken care of once and for all.   My heart seemed to leap out of my chest when he said that.   I didn't expect it and it seemed like something was REALLY wrong!  Luckily my wonderful husband was in the waiting room and I was able to go out and cry to him. 

I thought they were going to have to schedule me for the biopsy but I was informed that they could "fit me in" that same day.  Not sure that I was prepared for it.  BUT, I wanted to just get it over with at that point.   My life was literally flashing before my eyes as I imagined worst case scenario.   Then they called my name....a wonderful older woman walked me in.   She could see that I was shaken and she held my hand and spoke to me gently.  I do believe that she was an angel sent from God.   She took me to the biopsy room and I I was introduced to the tech that was going to assist Dr. Levin.   She was HILARIOUS!  She reminded me of Jane Lynch in both looks and personality.  We were laughing like we'd known each other forever.  

The doctor came in they prepped me, took the biopsy (weird) and I watch the whole thing unfold on the ultrasound screen! 

After they wrapped me like a mummy which made me look like I had an A cup with two boobs at my shoulders!  It was so tight!  I had to wear this until friday night.  But Friday morning I decided it was way too much and switched to a sports bra.  I was pretty sore and it bruised pretty good.

So I'm sitting at my desk friday morning, I see an unfamiliar 949 number on my phone....so I answer.  My heart is racing because I'm thinking is it Hoag?!  I pick up and sure enough, it's Sandra from Hoag.  She said she wanted to follow up with me.   She asks me how I'm doing, if I'm bleeding or in pain, etc, etc.   She then pauses and says, "well we received your test results back and......".  My heart is RACING "the test was benign".  I immediately began crying.   She said it was the best call she had to make, i thanked her profusely and proceeded to call and text my family.   God is good and I am so thankful that I was blessed with good results.

NEVER take your health for granted

NEVER use fear as an excuse to not get check ups

NEVER ignore symptoms because you don't want to "deal"

If you catch things early you have a CHANCE

There is HOPE

GIVE YOURSELF A FIGHTING CHANCE!!!!

God bless you all.

Boob Squishing and Stethoscopes

Really...it's been 6 months since my last mammogram???  I can't believe the time has flown by and now I'm due for yet another booby squishing appointment.  

It's also time for my wonderful annual physical.  Last time I waited five years between physicals and walked out of that office with three medications!   I went from being semi-insurable to totally un-insurable!  Woo hoo.  I guess now I'm just like most of the United States.  

I know my 6 month mammogram is a REALLY good thing if all is clear.  They're re-checking some new lumps that I had to get checked out in December.  They were initially found in June of last year, but the new process is checking them every 6 months and if they show no change, they're not harmful.  So at 6 months there was no change and I'm hoping at 12 months it will be the same.  

As for the annual physical....it's a unfortunate necessity.   I am just hoping and praying that everything has remained the same.   It was enough last year to find out I had PCOS...another wonderful surprise.   I was wondering why it was so hard for me to lose weight and so easy for me to sprout a potential ZZ Top worthy batch of facial hair!

I will keep everyone posted.  Remember your yearly check ups are very important!!!!  It's not the most fun thing to do but it's better to find things out sooner rather than later!

Exciting!

Well we're making the big move.  Today I gave our 30 day notice, I scheduled my service shut offs and even bought some spackle!

I'm excited to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  We have been struggling so much the past few years that it has worn us down.  We're not extravagant folks, but when you can't leave to do ANYTHING because of the budget crunch...you will feel like a prisoner in your own home.

I'm looking forward to paying off some major bills.  That will be nice.

I'm looking forward to doing some fun things with the family.

The hubby will be playing a show at Fantasy Springs in July...which is always nice because we get the free room and some food!  Neither of us are big gamblers, but you can bet I'll be using that pool!  

We're missing our Disneyland passes and hoping that eventually we can afford to get them back! I'm sure Noah feels the same way.

We were even discussing a long needed family trip to see the Grand Canyon.  Hubby has never been there and it's been years for me.  I think it might be fun for the kids.   

Overall, there is hope.  I'm happy, I'm relieved.  I'm excited to be closer to my family.  

Life is good.

Big changes!

So the hubby and I are considering a HUGE move for us.  

We are going to bid Adieu to the OC!

This county is far to expensive to live in when you're on a tight budget. We're far away from family and lot's of family. It's hard to be happy when you can't afford to do anything and worry about even the simplist of things like gas and food.

We're hoping that this will cut our stress and allow us to actually save

for an emergency anything.  It's scary not having an umbrella to depend on.

So we're going to start putting the machine in motion.  It's double the distance for me, but I guess it's worth it in the end.

Wish us luck!

How much can one person take?

Dare I ask that question?

I know I'm not the only one who thinks this is a semi-regular basis, right?  Most days are good days, for the most part...especially after 5.  But when the misery follows me home, I'm ready to crack or run away and hide!

If you don't know me, I am a wife, mother, office manager and many other titles that I could throw in here...including chef, organizer, laundry girl, housekeeper, etc.  My ideal vision of my life is being a stay at home mom, working with my son, growing my own vegetables, cleaning house, baking and cooking.  Perfect!

Instead I work in the craziest office on the planet, with the most special people ever.   My day is literally me being BOMBARDED with emails and calls wanting me to drop everything I'm doing to help someone....like NOW.  I actually don't mind the majority of what I do, I am naturally drawn to helping people.  I enjoy it very much.  BUT (and I mean BUT) there are the people that call in to tell you exactly what YOU should be jumping through hoops to do for THEM, no questions asked.  Unfortunately there are lots of these folks.  They are rude, they are mean and most of all they are persistent.  These are the people that make my job not so fun. Add into this equation and total lack of organization mixed with a bit of A.D.D. and what I like to call "selective forgetfulness".  Oh wait!  I forgot the extra serving of Delusions of Grandeur....it would make a sane person sit in the corner and rock back and fourth.

Today as you can probably tell has been an incredibly difficult day.  Work was busy only to be followed by a financial "surprise" when I got home.  I had a good cry, found a solution and moved on.  I guess that's all I can do because I certainly do not need "Wonky Face" (aka Bell's Palsy) coming back anytime soon.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day...after all it is FRIDAY!!!  Woot Woot!

Children

I think one of the hardest parts of being a mom is letting your children go.   It's just a part of life, but a very difficult one.  

When they're babies, they're so dependent on you.  Without you they can't survive.  Slowly they grow, they begin feeding themselves, walking and finally running.

Soon it's the first day at daycare or at school.  You wave goodbye as they walk away or your heart breaks as they cry for you.  

Before you know it they have their own circle of friends, they have their own style....they want to start using the computer or want a cell phone.  You get the point. 

People often open their eyes WIDE when they realize that I have a 20 year old and a 5 year old.  They gasp and tell me "oh my, you started over!".   Truth is, the baby days are easy.  Toddlerhood is easy.  Even at the preteen stage, they're easy.  

It's when you have NO control anymore that it becomes most difficult.   You have to watch your children move on and witness the successes and failures of their lives.   You hope and pray (lots) that what you taught them growing up will help them make the right decisions, but you just never know.   

My baby boy is easy.  My big baby boy, not so much.  

I've heard the expression that when you have a child it's like your heart is walking around outside of your body.   

That about sums it up

What I wish I was doing today

Maybe this

Or this

even better..

this

As I get older I'm realizing that

making it to the top

making the most money

having the "title"

driving the nicest car

having the biggest house

having the best things...

are the LEAST important things in this life

Our time is limited here and we are not

guaranteed tomorrow.

We need to really savor today and those that we love

What if you didn't have tomorrow?

Makes that work deadline not seem like the MOST important thing, right?

I will be going home and hugging my family.

It's been a while

Wow, I didn't realize that I had been away for so long!

A lot has happened in the past few years culminating with me letting stress get to me to the point where it physically appeared.  I got Bell's Palsy.

One day after a particularly stressful few weeks, I came down with an excruciating headache.  It was pretty bad and I noticed that the right side of my face was tingly.  It was as if someone had rubbed vicks on my face (even my eye sort of burned).   I came home did the usual and sat on the couch with the husband but I was not feeling good.  I eventually just told him that I was going to bed and I would see him in the morning.  

I woke up the next morning and started to get ready for a big meeting that I had for work.   Something didn't feel right though, my right eye felt as if I slept with my hand or arm pressing on it and when I tried to close it, it felt weak.  My mouth felt weird too but I couldn't put my finger on it.  I got into the shower, got dressed and jumped into my car.

When i got to the meeting, I pulled my lipstick out and low and behold I could NOT rub my lips together!  It threw me into total panic when I realized that something was really wrong.   Being the trouper that I am....I actually went into the meeting and expressed my concern to a co-worker.  She could see the paralysis too.

I finished the meeting and went to my doctors office.   I will admit I am a bit of a hypochondriac and I'm so scared of the "medical unknown".  After a series of tests they said that I had BP and gave me an RX for prednisone and acyclovir.  I began taking it and man...I will say those were the worst few weeks of my life.

I was blessed, I got better after about 2 1/2 weeks (some people take 3 months or more).  But the experience made me realize how blessed we are to have a functioning body.  I am aging and i feel it on days when I've done too much and I'm sore...or when I wear heels and have to take them off because my feet hurt.   This is NOTHING like that.   Drooling, can't eat, biting your toungue, biting the side of your mouth, can't close your eye....pain!  Not fun stuff.  Not to mention after I finally finished the prednisone,  I broke out like a teenager for WEEKS.

Anyhow.  It's more common than you think and a lot of times it's caused my stress.  The moral of the story....LIFE IS TOO SHORT. This was a tough lesson to learn and I'm still trying every day to stop being such a spazz.  I'm trying to find a job that I love, something that I eagerly get out of bed for every morning.  I'm enjoying gardening, we're growing carrots, potatoes, tomatoes and parsley.   I'm laughing more, loving more...working on my relationship with my husband.

Eventually I just want to live on a farm....I'm getting there....slowly.