It's been a while

Wow, I didn't realize that I had been away for so long!

A lot has happened in the past few years culminating with me letting stress get to me to the point where it physically appeared.  I got Bell's Palsy.

One day after a particularly stressful few weeks, I came down with an excruciating headache.  It was pretty bad and I noticed that the right side of my face was tingly.  It was as if someone had rubbed vicks on my face (even my eye sort of burned).   I came home did the usual and sat on the couch with the husband but I was not feeling good.  I eventually just told him that I was going to bed and I would see him in the morning.  

I woke up the next morning and started to get ready for a big meeting that I had for work.   Something didn't feel right though, my right eye felt as if I slept with my hand or arm pressing on it and when I tried to close it, it felt weak.  My mouth felt weird too but I couldn't put my finger on it.  I got into the shower, got dressed and jumped into my car.

When i got to the meeting, I pulled my lipstick out and low and behold I could NOT rub my lips together!  It threw me into total panic when I realized that something was really wrong.   Being the trouper that I am....I actually went into the meeting and expressed my concern to a co-worker.  She could see the paralysis too.

I finished the meeting and went to my doctors office.   I will admit I am a bit of a hypochondriac and I'm so scared of the "medical unknown".  After a series of tests they said that I had BP and gave me an RX for prednisone and acyclovir.  I began taking it and man...I will say those were the worst few weeks of my life.

I was blessed, I got better after about 2 1/2 weeks (some people take 3 months or more).  But the experience made me realize how blessed we are to have a functioning body.  I am aging and i feel it on days when I've done too much and I'm sore...or when I wear heels and have to take them off because my feet hurt.   This is NOTHING like that.   Drooling, can't eat, biting your toungue, biting the side of your mouth, can't close your eye....pain!  Not fun stuff.  Not to mention after I finally finished the prednisone,  I broke out like a teenager for WEEKS.

Anyhow.  It's more common than you think and a lot of times it's caused my stress.  The moral of the story....LIFE IS TOO SHORT. This was a tough lesson to learn and I'm still trying every day to stop being such a spazz.  I'm trying to find a job that I love, something that I eagerly get out of bed for every morning.  I'm enjoying gardening, we're growing carrots, potatoes, tomatoes and parsley.   I'm laughing more, loving more...working on my relationship with my husband.

Eventually I just want to live on a farm....I'm getting there....slowly.

KEEPING IT SEXY

Does it feel like you and your husband have NO time for each other?

I know my husband and I suffer from this. We went from being all over each other to being too tired to even attempt any affection at night. Man it sucks. After we had our little one, he started sleeping with us and he wasn't a good sleeper so we are constantly exhausted.

Add work into that, band practice...other kids...It's not looking too good and neither am I these days. I am so haggard looking cause I'm just always so darn tired. Then my husband is a bit of a night owl and i get up way earlier so we're not on the same schedule at all.

I'm going to start with getting my little on into his own bed....does anyone else have any suggestions????

Quick, easy and cheap snacks for the family

ok, i love to cook but I typically don't have the time or the energy. HOWEVER...lately due to our wonderful economy I've had to make so sacrifices and give up on the take out and prepacked desserts.

One of the things that's fairly easy to make and the family loves it is deep dish brownies. Here is the recipe:

Preheat oven to 350
grease an 8" pan (I use Pam for baking)

get your ingredients together

3/4 c (1 1/2 sticks of butter)
1 1/2 c sugar (I use sugar in the raw)
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
3 eggs
3/4 c. flour (i use unbleached all purpose)
1/2 c. herseys cocoa
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt

ok so here it goes:

combine butter, sugar and vanilla, beat well then add the 3 eggs. Beat that altogether well.

in another bowl combine flour, cocoa, baking power and salt - i use a fork to mix it all together. Now you're going to gradually put the flour mixture into the egg mixture. I add a little then mix well then a little more and mix well...you get the point.

Beat it all until it's well blended. Spread it into the pan and bake for 40-45 minutes. Let cool and enjoy. These brownies are awesome!

How to make some time for yourself...

Ah, the biggest mystery for moms…how do I make time for ME?

After much stress, many tears, lot’s of venting…I think I’ve found a few tips and tricks to get some “me time” in during a normal day. Let me outline a typical day of mine:

6:30am up, shower, get dressed – get Kids stuff ready for the day
7:30am Leave for work
8:00 am to 5:00pm work a full day in a busy office while fielding calls from hubby regarding everything and anything
5:45 pm pick up baby from daycare
6:00 pm arrive home – get dinner going, get baby situated with snacks, etc.
7:00 pm dinner ready – wait for hubby to get home – feed the other kids
7:45 pm bath time

The rest of my night until about 12 is spent cleaning, looking over mail, paying bills, discussing things, putting the baby to bed, etc. This goes on Monday through Friday. Friday nights, the stepson comes over and now I have 3 boys in my house. Dirty, messy, noisy boys. My husband works Saturdays so I’m home alone with them until about 6pm. Oh and I didn’t mention my husband is also in a band so he’s gone a few nights a week. Needless to say, “me time” is a rarity!
So lately, I’ve been taking breaks at work and actually leaving for lunch. There is a park down the street and I head over there with a book and lay there and read. I’ve found that most libraries have “buy” racks where you can get some awesome books for about 10 cents…that’s right folks TEN CENTS! You can also just check out a book for free.

Other than that, I try to make sure my little one is in bed at a decent time get my stuff done as quickly as possible and one day a week I don’t do “anything” at night aside from making dinner. Put the baby to bed and voila, you have some time. Although I have to say, I just pass out most of the time on these days.

Otherwise, I find little ways to get some entertainment in.

-Facebook is one, gives me a chance to catch up with people fairly quickly.
-Getting into the longest line at the checkout stand – pick up a magazine and read – and it’s free! -Take a walk to drop off mail if you have a mailbox close by. Gets you some fresh air.
-Take your kids to the park – take a book with you and read while they play
-Give your toddler a bath – sit in there and read a book or write, or whatever you like to do

while they play
-Use your lunch if you work!
-Set up a regular coffee date with a friend, have your husband watch the kids for an hour or so
-Set up a little tv in your kitchen or a radio or something and entertain yourself while you cook

Those are some little tips. I try to find my sanity in these things! Good luck to you!

THE STEP-MONSTER

So when I was little, my father remarried. This woman loved to comb my hair into tight ponytails, which I hated. She became the “Step-monster”. I hated going over there, she made me eat all my food….she made me stay clean…she made me comb my hair. Oh the torture.

So now I’ve become the “Step-monster” to my 14 year old stepson. I am so sorry for torturing my stepmother now and I’m so thankful for the lessons she taught me. I realize looking back, that she was trying really hard and nothing was to purposefully torture me, except maybe the over easy eggs with chili on them.

So how do you deal with a stepchild? It’s an artform, a delicate balancing act, that’s for sure. Do you treat them the same as your other children and probably set yourself up to be accused to being mean to them? Or do you treat them especially kind and risk having the next Bad Seed visiting your house on weekends? Well I’ll tell you after doing this for 7 years, I treat him exactly as I treat my other kids and if he thinks I’m being mean. So what. I had that experience this weekend.

I was raised in a Hispanic family, I am STILL afraid of my mother. I will not curse in front of her or disrespect her or my Grandmother. There is a moral code we were taught growing up and it’s that your parents made the decisions. You did what they told you to and you respected them. You said please, thank you and excuse me. These days all of these kids walk around with some sort of entitlement complex. They’re rude, obnoxious, vulgar and just downright lazy. WE owe them. Yeah, I don’t think so. I pay the bills, I keep the house up….your job is to go to school do good and obey MY rules.

I don’t have to lay a hand on my kids, just as my parents didn’t lay a hand on me. All it took was the stare of death from my mother and I stopped whatever it was that I was doing….I’ve perfected that stare for my own children.

We’re threatened with social services, kids are told they have rights. If abuse is going on then take the parents to jail, if a parent is just trying to keep their child in order….let them do their job. We’re losing our right to parent and I refuse to let that happen to me. My kids know better. My stepson is learning. Support from your spouse is vital. If they don’t back you up, you’re bound to lose. I still battle with this every weekend.

Keep your head up stepparents. I think in the end they will realize you were just trying to help them, I know I did.

UPDATE:  I wanted to update this blog.   In November of 2010 we lost my stepmother to thyroid cancer.  She fought brave and hard.  She gave us so much guidance and wisdom....she will be truly missed.   We were all there with her and my father until the end and honestly, helping her was the least I could have done after all she had done for me.  Miss you Mom!

How do I juggle this?

I guess i should start from the beginning here. I was a young mom, had my first at 17....bad choices...but it enabled me to get moving again and into the thick of things while still relatively young. My kid was my little buddy and we had a great time. Fast forward 11 years....I'm 28 single, successful and very independent. On a dare my friend Janet decides to set me up on an online dating site. I refused to pay and it was free so what the hell, i told her to go for it.

My friend Hot Pants and I kept checking at work and before I knew it I had an email from a guy named Jimmy. He's a white rocker (drummer) from Orange County. I'm a latin girl from Compton. We started talking and decided to meet up one day
in Irvine. I decided to take two of my sisters with me "just in case" he turned out to be a psycho or something.

Long story short, we met, we talked and hung out (no kissing) for about 3 months. We had our first kiss, started dating, moved in 3 months later and got married 3 years later. In 2006 we had a little boy Noah. So I went from being single with a preteen to a mom of 3 boys, since I have a stepson now. My life change drastically in 7 years.

My career has changed, my lifestyle has changed. I am the master of all things household now. I can cook a mean dinner and get clothes really clean. Seriously....i ate out almost everyday before and partied up a storm. I don't think I can even dance anymore unless it's to a Backyardigans song on Noggin.

I'll be posting my experiences here, things I've learned. Experiences I've learned from and I've had a lot of experiences. From a mother in law who hated me to a new boss with ADD. I'm sure you'll get your kicks and maybe learn a little something. I want to help women understand that you can do it all and still look fab-u-lous!!!!

So kick off your Manolos, pour yourself a cosmo and get ready to read.......cheers!